Review: OhMiBod Club Vibe

Today we'll be taking a look at the Club Vibe by OhMiBod. OhMiBod is a product line developed by the brilliant bombshell Suki Dunham. The Club Vibe, like every other product in their line, is what is known as a music-driven vibrator. This tiny inconspicuous bullet literally encourages you to 'feel the music' by translating your favorite songs into an orchestra of pleasure. Just stick it in your panties and take it for a test drive! The Club Vibe is designed for use in both private and public settings.  It can be used in manual mode as a plain old pattern vibrator, in music mode by attaching it to an mp3 player, or in ambient mode. Probably one of the best ways to use this baby is by switching it to ambient mode and wearing it to a club or concert. Ambient mode will detect sound around you through the speaker holes on the control pack, and relay it to the itty bitty pink bullet in your pants, which will consequently buzz in merriment to the music. The result? Wet panties and a damn good time.

The Club Vibe is compiled of a variety of parts. The first and most important part is the control pack. The control pack is made of ABS plastic, and has a smooth, velvety finish to it. It's black with pink markings, rectangular in shape, and about the size of my palm. It has a clip on the back to easily attach it to your pants/skirt/etc, and is fairly inconspicuous, if a bit larger than I'd like. In total, the control pack is 3" long, 1 1/2" wide, and about an inch thick. Like I said, nothing too ridiculous size-wise. You could easily hide this under a jacket or shirt, as long as you're careful to keep the speaker holes free of obstruction. The second piece of the puzzle is the vibe itself; a cute pink bullet roughly 1 3/4" long, with a 30" transparent cord attached to its butt. The bullet is made of that same velvety finish ABS plastic, and is hypo-allergenic, non-porous, and both phthalates and latex free. Yay for body-safe sex toys! The third item you will receive is a 55" long black cord which connects the control pack to your mp3 player, and your mp3 player to your headphones. This item is only required when using the Club Vibe in music mode. If you plan on using it for its ambient or manual settings only, you'll have little use for this cord. The last little goody that comes with your Club Vibe is a cute black thong, thoughtfully folded up in a small drawstring OhMiBod storage pouch. The thong is made mainly of cotton, with lacy accents. It has quite a bit of stretch and will fit a range of sizes. However, it should be noted that it's marketed as a 'one size fits most', not one size fits all, item. Trust me when I say it really isn't a huge loss if the panties don't fit. I, personally, found the panties to be more of a hindrance than a help in my quest for orgasms.

Let's talk about function here for a minute. The Club Vibe has three modes of play: manual mode, music mode, and ambient mode. You can change modes using a textured switch on the side of the control pack. When in manual mode, there are 7 preset functions to choose from. The first three settings are steady vibrations in low, medium, and high. Or, in the case of the Club Vibe, more like medium, high,  and OMG higher! The last four settings are a mixture of pulsing/escalating patterns, some of which are quite rhythmic all on their own. The vibrations can be felt along the entire length of the bullet, and are pretty incredibly strong. It should be noted that the vibes are rather buzzy, however. If you're not a fan of buzzy vibes, this should still be pretty amazing for you, but then again, it may not. The vibrations honestly made me itch a bit at first. Anyways, back to the modes! When in music mode, the bullet will vibrate to the sound of whatever song your mp3 player happens to be playing. You can control the intensity of the vibrations by either turning up the music, or adjusting the dial on the bottom of the control pack. Nothing against the presets, but music mode is so much more fun and unpredictable! Ambient mode is the last of the three. Much like music mode, the bullet will vibrate to the sound of music. However, it picks up the beat of music around you, rather than through an mp3 device. All three modes have a little something special to offer, and help to insure you pretty much never get bored with this toy!

So, how do we use this bad boy? I'll break it down for you in five relatively simple steps. Step One: Insert the batteries. The Club Vibe runs on two AAA batteries (included) which are inserted  in the back of the control pack underneath the belt clip. Slide the battery cover off (you may need to battle with it for a few minutes), insert batteries, and return cover to its rightful place. Step Two: Connect the controller to the bullet. Merely plug the cord attached to the bullet into the top of the control pack, and phase two is complete. Step Three: Don the combination cotton/lace thong, slip the bullet into the pouch in the panties, adjust as necessary. If you're having difficulty getting the bullet to stay in place well, or aren't receiving sufficient stimulation while it's tucked inside the panties, experiment until you find something that works for you. Nestling the bullet between my lips seemed to be the most efficient and fulfilling for me. It stayed in place MUCH better, and I could actually feel the power this vibe has to offer. This bullet packs some intense vibrations, and you don't want to miss out on them just because the bullet pouch in your underwear is too high or low for your anatomy. Don't be afraid to go against the grain and try something different! Step Four: Connect the controller to your mp3 player. Here's where that huge black cord comes into play. Pay attention, this is where it gets confusing. You're going to plug one end of this cord into the control pack, the other end into your mp3 player's headphone jack, and then plug your headphones into the extra headphone jack dangling off the cord. Note: If you're using the Club Vibe's ambient or manual mode, feel free to ignore step four and skip straight ahead to step five. Which brings us to our final destination; Step Five: Activate device. Enjoy music of choice.

Once you've wound down from your pleasure high, be sure to properly care for your Club Vibe by dissembling it, and cleaning up with your method of choice. I prefer good old antibacterial soap and warm water, but toy wipes, toy cleaner, or isopropyl alcohol are all viable options as well.  Wash and dry the panties like you would your delicates (don't worry, they stand up fairly well to the big bad machines). When all is said and done, return each and every piece to its rightful place in the original packaging. Or, you can just do what I do and cram it all in the storage pouch. I know it seems small, but that thing can stretch! Give it a try, you'll be amazed!

Alright, here's where I'm going to nitpick. There were a few things I disliked about this product; not many, but a few. First of all, I wasn't very impressed with the ambient mode. You really have to be in a loud club or concert-like setting for ambient mode to work well. If the music isn't loud enough, you have to be very, very, close to the source of the noise for the Club Vibe to detect much. Nitpick #2: The panties. The panties didn't work well for me at all. The pouch that's meant to hold the bullet was never in the right position to stimulate my clitoris, and the vibrations I did feel were way diffused because of the fabric.  My biggest problem with this toy, however, were the miles and miles of cord. I honestly felt like I had a fucking wire down my pants; like the FBI was investigating my genitals for 'suspicious activity' or something. The wires aren't that big of a deal in ambient or manual mode. However, music mode is my setting of choice, which means whipping out the huge black cord and connecting the bullet to the control pack to my mp3 player to my headphones every damn time I want to use this! It then becomes somewhat of a big corded mess. I would not suggest doing much moving around while in this state, for fear of entanglement. My only question is, why the hell isn't this wireless? The majority of the OhMiBod line has gotten with the program and gone cordless, why not the Club Vibe? [/end nitpick]

Alright, so spoiled grumbling aside, let me just say that I really enjoyed the OhMiBod Club Vibe. It's a great sample of this extraordinary, innovative, truly original product line. There is literally nothing else like this on the market right now, and if you don't give at least one of OhMiBod's products a try, you are seriously missing out my friend! You can find the OhMiBod Club Vibe and other OhMiBod products at Kama Sutra Closet! A big thanks to the folks over there for sponsoring this review. Thank you again!