Fuck You Very Much! (A New Facebook Account)

I need to vent for a moment. A few things have overwhelmed, and yes, even angered me about my decision to return to the sex toy community. First of all, let's discuss the overwhelming part: the emails. Didn't I mention? I had 900+ emails and 200 some spam messages when I finally dared to log in to my reviewing account. Frightening, but nothing I couldn't handle. Anyways, after digging myself out of the sea of 'PENIS ENLARGEMENT' offers, blog updates, retailer advertisements, and facebook friend requests, I felt a bit relieved. A weight had been lifted and it seemed like jumping back in wouldn't be as difficult as I'd originally thought. I spent about 20 minutes accepting all of the friend requests I had received in my absence, posted a few brief "hello's" on facebook and twitter, and started sorting through my old reviews and half-written blog posts. 

Fast forward to the very next day. I attempt to log in to my facebook account and am denied. Do mine eyes deceive me? "Your facebook account has been disabled." WTF? I've been on here how many months, and now, out of the blue, my profile is suddenly disabled without so much as a warning or an explanation?! Now, I'm a reasonable person, so I contacted facebook to inquire as to what the hell was going on here. I received a brush-off email basically stating that my account was disabled because they had reason to believe I was not "authentically representing myself", and that it would not, under any circumstances, be restored. Hey-- I object! I am authentically representing myself, I'm just doing so under a pseudonym. This is my real personality, 100% me; I just don't want my activities and discussions under the microscope of my family. Do you honestly think I want to blast my real name all over facebook when my friends are all sex toy retailers or reviewers, and I'm talking about vibrators and dildos on a daily basis? Uhm, no. My grandmother would probably have a fucking heart attack. I, for one, do not want to be held accountable for her death, or the awkward conversations that would likely follow.

Well, I tell you, there's no way I'm going down that easily! THIS. IS. WAR!! For now, you can find me under the new pseudonym 'Splendora Moore'. It was the best I could do to stay somewhat true to my online persona, while still appearing to have a semi-legit "real name". I only hope that I can regain half of the friends and contacts I had on there before, and that I'll continue to slip just under their radar. Until our next confrontation Facebook; Fuck You very much for all you've undone for me!
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2 comments:

Michele said...

As IF a huge portion of the sex toy reviewer community *doesn't* operate under a pseudonym?! WTF Facebook? Awhile back they removed our avatar (the one with the couple hugging) because they said it was "offensive," yet they left alone the people who have avatars of their butts in thongs or boobs spilling out of lingerie. Frankly, we don't see how any of that could be offensive since everyone does have clothes on, but Facebook is weird.

Splendwhore said...

FB is straight up trippin'. EQUAL RIGHTS, bitches! </3

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