Even God has Salesmen

Fair Warning: This post will contain my opinion, and yes, that may offend you.

It was a regular afternoon, like any other. The boyfriend and I were lounging about the house, as he had the day off. Just taking some time to relax and not bothering with the complicated things in life like bras and bothering to eat. Until, however, our R&R was disturbed by Christianity rearing its persistent little head. 

A knock at the door produced two women who had apparently come to sell us their religion. "Hi, I'd like to talk to you about God," the first woman said to my boyfriend, dread written all across his face. I slowly shifted the giant green vibrator off of my desk and out of sight, feeling a bit like a frightened child. There was no time to hide all of the pagan-themed books, which I had no doubt her highly trained sin-senses would detect. Thankfully the bf stopped her before she could catch him in her thrall and convince him to invite her inside. "Okay, I'm going to stop you right there," he said with a smile, "No offense, I think it's cool what you're doing and I hope you have luck at other doors, but.. " She seemed to understand and left, surprisingly, without pushing the subject. No foul words were exchanged, there was no animosity between us, and thankfully, no blood had been shed. I breathed a sigh of relief as they departed, content that the confrontation had been avoided.

What bothers me about this situation is the fact that even in my own home, I have to live in fear. When you open your door to an unknown face, there's a rather short list of who they are and what they want; bible thumper is pretty high up on that list. Mostly in our neighborhood it's either someone trying to sell you churros and carpet cleaner, or someone trying to sell their savior. It really pisses me off sometimes, especially knowing what I know about how Christianity gained prominence. I look at these people trying to talk to me about sin and evil and wonder how they'd react if they knew that most of their ancestors were converted to Christianity through means of brutal torture, rape, slaughter, and the destruction of entire villages.. Christianity has a bloody history, and no one seems to care. Sure, they're not killing regularly anymore; but coming to my house on my day off, at the ungodly hour of 4pm no less, to force me into a conversation I clearly don't want to have is still a very real form of torture. If I wanted to talk to you about God, I'd be at church.

And hey-! I don't go door to door cursing you for all your life choices. I don't preach of ignorance and hate and blind stupidity. I don't shove my beliefs in your face and tell you that everything you believe or practice is wrong. There are multiple paths to follow in life, not just one, and I'm tired of the condescending looks and snide remarks if I don't happen to be skipping down the Jesus trail with you. I've literally been harassed by a couple of 'Holy Rollers' while just taking a stroll down the street. They were stalking us, looking rather ridiculous doing so too, riding bicycles while wearing their trademark suits. Sam & I literally had to run through traffic to shake them loose. Why the hell is this considered acceptable? If I chased after a random stranger on a bicycle shouting about religion, I'm sure I'd be picked up as a loony. Or at the very least arrested for harassment and disturbing the peace. But the church gets away with it, and I'm really fucking sick of it. I feel like slapping a big picture of the bible with a red 'NO' circle over it on my door; maybe then they'll take a fucking hint. 

[/end rant]

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4 comments:

Misfit Momma aka Missy said...

Yea. Those people annoy me too. I'm usually too nice to say no, and tell them I'm busy so they keep coming back once a month or so to ask if I have time to talk.

I took my altercloth and hung it on the window like a curtain. Thought it might scare them away, but they keep coming back!

Splendwhore said...

Lol, I know! Persistent buggers.

Dangerous Lilly said...

We have this very nice duo of older black ladies who come door to door throughout our apt complex now and then. Unlike your BF, I'm terrible at saying no and being put on the spot (as is my hubs) and so we both (sep times) just quietly listened and took her lil brochure and shut the door. She wasn't the sort to ask to come in, just wanted to get new members for the church, I guess.

But now? When we get knocks on our door esp on the weekend, we crane our necks out the window to try and see who might be at the door. We don't want to answer it when its them.

Dusk said...

My ex-fiance was Mormon so I understand why the missionaries do what they do. They believe their religion is the only way to be reunited with God and Jesus Christ after this life, so they do all the work they can do make sure everyone at least has the option and the choice to learn about their religion.

I don't approve of it, but I understand where they're coming from.

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